Week 1, Post 1

Hey anyone that reads this.

As you can probably guess this blog will be about sports, mostly football and basketball, some golf and the tiniest bit of baseball as we like to stay awake during a sporting event and I can’t make it through 9 innings of a baseball game without passing out from boredom.

So if you like bad jokes and bad picks keep writing and maybe we will keep writing.
Sorry it’s late but here are the picks:

Baltimore (-13) over the Raiders

If I take the Raiders at all this week please come find me and get me off whatever type of drugs I am on. I am serious, if they are getting 100 points vs. the Jets I think the only logical decision would be to bet the under, that would be your best shot.
New England (-6.5) over New York Jets

My co-poster here watches too much ESPN. They lost Branch’s 5 TDs last year……ouch, yeah man it’s over New England. The point is, it’s early in the season. The Jets are still the Jets for now at least and New England seems to bounce back after they lose a player. Remember when they lost some big defensive player (and I’m running too short on time here so I can’t look up the players name) to the Bills and I heard all these “locker room rumblings” about how the team was torn apart. Come on, these are grown men, if the guy in the cube next to me left for some other company and I told my boss that my sub par work was because I was sad that he went to another company I would be fired in about 10 seconds. Stop paying attention to this stuff.
St. Louis AT San Fran

See below

New Orleans (-2.5) over Green Bay

This game just stinks, I don’t like either team and I doubt I will put any money or pride on either team the whole year. It literally pains me to be forced to pick one for this post.

Buffalo (+6.5) over Miami

I realized one thing during the season opener; even if his knee is healthy this looks like early 2005 season Dante Culpepper and not 2004 Dante Culpepper. Give me the points.

Minnesota (-1) over Carolina

Give me an efficient QB and a great O-Line over Keyshawn and a fake QB any day.

Cincinnati (-10) over Cleveland

I tried to come up with something witty about the Dawg Pound vs. a team of convicts……..there is a joke here I just can’t find it

Chicago (-9) over Detroit

I know that the Lions got so close to 40 points last week against a suspect Seattle Defense it was “stupid” (read: they got 2 field goals) but I will take the 14-0 shutout by the Bears. Remember folks, you don’t need to be great on offense just have a better defense then the other team.

Houston (+14) over Indy

Seriously, can anyone run the ball on Indy? Anyone?

NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS (+3) over Philly

HOMER RANT ALERT – you may want to move on
Seriously, the Eagles just beat Houston, can we all calm down?
Yes, the Eagles were really good the past few years (excluding a really torn up season last year that shouldn’t count), but come on. This is the same team of 3 years ago plus another career number 2 wide out playing number one (ask Atlanta how that worked out for Peerless Price). They got older, slower and everyone around them got better. When the Eagles end up bottom 2 in NFC East this year I don’t want to hear anyone being shocked. They still have no running game.

Just stop it Philly fans.

Atlanta (-5) over Tampa Bay

Chris Simms, you sir, need to pick it up before I will pick your team.

Seattle (-7) over Arizona

Did he seriously just take the Cards over Seahawks??
Did I actually read that?

KC (+10.5) over Denver

10.5 is a lot.

Tennessee (+10.5) over San Diego

10.5 is a lot.

Dallas (-6) over Washington

Washington’s offense is like a brand new Lamborghini being driven by a comatose grand mother

Jacksonville (+2.5) over Pitt

Seriously Taylor owns Pitt

As for the Rams vs. 49ers………

A new feature for my column, the

FREE MONEY GAME!!!!

This is a game that I can’t believe how it seems Vegas is just handing us money, hoping we come back next week and spend it all on stupid decisions.

3 points the Rams are giving to San Fran!!!!! 3 Points!!!

What is this?!? Is this because the Rams are on the road??? Its San Francisco…..it’s gonna be like 90 degrees and sunny, this isn’t going to New England in December people.

Good luck all, and a real post coming this week. Where I will actually make sense, maybe.